Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
