the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
