Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
