Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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