Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
