thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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