I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
