If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
