i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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