Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
