eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
