I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i think i have herpe
just one?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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