Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
