she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
time to smoke my breakfast
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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