I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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