you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
