nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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