dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Shame is for Republicans.
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