i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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