my soul wont recognize me after tonight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the day after is always just damage control
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
