i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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