just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
