I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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