exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was born a porn star she said
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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