when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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