I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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