Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
