I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
