YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
