a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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