its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
