i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
