direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Still dying that you shit outside
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
