Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize