If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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