I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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