Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
