I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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