I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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