yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
