i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
