Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize