I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
