you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
