I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
