when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He has the fingertips of a God
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