Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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