I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
