she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
