took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
