True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
