I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
