Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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