So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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