The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
