is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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