Porn is love you can see.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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