I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
