Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize