my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
