I didn't shave. On purpose
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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