So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
