Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
