And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
