Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
