Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
