last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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