Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
