Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
