She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize