So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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