Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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