OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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