So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
